sticky

sticky.

like mud in your sleeves.

-----

Ron and i had one late afternoon delight over a dvd and laid a bedding mattress on the floor so we could hop in and had a few snacks to munch.

---

then his ex-gf came in, made herself comfortable beside him and joined the 'party' like one invited guest. anger came rushing into me like i could explode anytime.

---
i stood up, walked away
and tried to pull myself together before i will let loose of anything i might regret later.

---

i tried to be calm and went back to where they are.

---

and i found them in each other's arms.

---

there's nothing more numbing than seeing such a despicable sight.

and my hand found its way to the woman's face.

and the feeling came rushing back again.

anger, hate, despise.

revenge.

---

it just runs through my head that nothing seems to matter at all.

i wanted to do something.

but my mind's empty i just want to scream and shout

and throw things...

and put out all my strength

so i could feel no more...

---

in real life, i never slapped anybody's face.

not that i didn't have the chance.

i don't think i can ever lay hands on someone.

i had too much pride to do that.

pride not to let them see i'm hurt.

---

though at times in the midst of anger and hurt,

we tend to think way beyond what's rightful.

---

and i don't want to go back to that feeling.

not even in my dreams.

---

but this is one bad dream.

it dragged me to a bad past.

and awakened a bad feeling...

---

and stuck like

mud on my sleeves.