home alone, so i write...

Weird.

I could not remember the first time he said I love you.

...was it because he says it more often, it seems like everyday's the first time...
or was it just we only spent less time together before and we haven't had so much time saying that thing face to face.

i met him the second time at the hotel lobby. I was even thinking if i ever get to remember how he looked. Would I miss to recognize him -- or would I come to know him at once?

as the elevator door widened, I glimpsed around and finally fixed my eyes on the gentleman on the couch. He was staring, so I had a good feeling it was him. I waved. It came out just comfortably out of me - like waving at an old friend. He smiled back. I remembered well when I kid around the second time we met. I sure was confident 'bout kidding around with this stranger. I remembered I commented on how he smelled. I wondered if he ever put potion on it. lol.

We went out and had late night snacks. I can't even remember any of his name that time, if he was murmuring his name and where he's working the first time we met, that even made it more forgettable. The small rounded table at Flame It made the conversation more comfortable. Our feet could touch under it. One lean on the coffee table and elbows could reach another. My phone kept ringing but there's nothing that can put my attention away. Then he asked if i was committed. I said yes. I did not ask him back. I was, at that time, someone who never cared for such questions. I was just simply happy and forgetting a bad life. I was like seizing the moment before it would be over.

I was talking big. Women empowerment. Gender biases. Socio-political concern. We never talk of emotions. Not about love. Not about relationships. We just talked and laughed like we only have the world to us. Only the two of us.

Even saying goodbye isn't goodbye at all. All goodbyes may have been said but we texted until we feel it is indeed time to hit the hay. The next day, he would be right at the hotel lobby, waiting.